I was watching EDH and Chill, where they had a video game theme. What game would I use for such a purpose? I’ll probably make a series of this at some point, because games like Binding of Isaac and Dishonored (both of which I actually like more than the game I’m about to go into) would make interesting decks as well.

But, as I’ve been playing plenty of Borderlands 3 lately, Borderlands it is. But with a very specific view of the world.

So, if you haven’t played the games after the first one, Tiny Tina would probably be new to you. In the second game, she’s a fourteen year old girl, who likes drawing bunnies, having pretend tea parties with her dolls and blowing shit up. When you first meet her, she’s living a very isolated life in the middle of several bandit camps and varkid colonies (varkids are huge insects). This tells you a lot about the world. I mean, she’s 14 year old orphan and even those she considers friends have just left her out there. She’s doing fine in the sense that she’s alive, but she has gone a bit mad.

Later on in the DLCs Tiny Tina is running a game of Bunkers and Bandits for Lilith, Mordecai and Brick (the prettiest siren). Obviously, B&B is their version of D&D and it’s a fantasy roleplaying game, even if you go in there with the same futuristic weaponry you can use everywhere else as well. Still, this is a good, if somewhat lazy lens to look at that world and come up with deck. Or decks, actually.

The Red problem: So, I though I’d make a few different decks with this theme, because it would be hard to fit everything into one. As I was thinking about the colors each of these would fall into, it felt to me that everyone in the world is very impulsive. Sure, there are degrees on this, but actually not that many. I guess it would be easy to say Mordecai is green while both Roland and Axton are white, with Zer0 and Fl4k being… whatever, but pretty much everyone just follows their instincts and rationalizes their decisions later.

But here goes, based on BL3

• We have Crimson Raiders with Lilith as their Commander at RW (she probably started as pure R, but as she took on the commanding role, she developed a white side). Maybe an angel? Feather, the Redeemed will encourage various buffs, so I’ll go with that.
• Children of the Vault commanded by Troy and Tyreen would be partners, if there were appropriate partners in RB, but since we don’t Tyreen gets to be the commander, while Troy is the lieutenant. There’s so many appropriate choices here: Anje Falkenrath, Exava, Rakdos Blood Witch, Judith, the Scourge Diva, Lyzolda, the Blood Witch or Garna, the Bloodflame. She does like to eat her followers, so I guess Lyzolda is the right choice. Troy can be Tymaret, the Murder King
• Maliwan, as commanded by Katagama, Jr. gets to be UR because of the elemental damage thing-y. Some sort of equipment theme might be good, but I decided to go with Tawnos, Urza's Apprentice
• Atlas and Jakobs don’t offer much in the way of variety, and while Hyperion, the Bonded or Eista’s Fight Club clan might be more interesting, I decided to go with Guardians, which in itself is a bit problematic. What are they supposed to be? They are basically made of energy in BL3, where they only have shield health (in some cases armor as well). But again, Tina comes to our help. How would she put these into her game? They are spirits and the Vault monsters are monsters, easy. So they are UG. Who leads them? We meet someone in Pre-Sequel, but that’s soon forgotten. I’ll just use Rashmi, Eternities Crafter, because the Eridians, who built this faction, tried to plan for everything.

Now, obviously, I’m not pushing any of the decks in any way. Well, maybe a little bit, but mostly this is not about that. I wouldn’t add cards that are completely useless, because they are no fun, but we’ll see. I’ll still go flavor first.

Let’s start with Guardians. Now, I’m going to have some huge monsters, but mostly I want to keep the curve pretty low, since we don’t have much in the way of ramp. So, mostly blue will be spirits and green will provide the muscle. Is there synergy here? Hardly. I guess I also need to include one huge Eldrazi Titan to be the Destroyer. I also put in a few creatures with Monstrous or Adapt because the monsters sometimes have two forms. And it does give the deck some flexibility.

I’ll also let you figure out the mana on your own. It shouldn’t be too complicated. If you want to make this work, just use whatever duals you have. Just remember to play enough of them. I’ll leave room for 46 mana sources. I guess you could add some manarocks as De Leon says “everything around here runs on crystals”.

The few spells in the deck revolve around exploration and curiosity, which seems to have been a guiding force behind their weird little experimentation.

Many of the cards in this deck are from Kamigawa, so this might be just a little bit underpowered.

[deck]
[commander]
Rashmi, Eternities Crafter
[/commander]
[guardians]
Diviner Spirit
Dungeon Geists
Eidolon of Philosophy
Battleground Geist
Callous Deceiver
Drift of Phantasm
Flitterstep Eidolon
Fogwalker
Geist of the Archives
Ghost-Lit Warder
Guardian of Solitude
Kami of the Crescent Moon
Kami of Twisted Reflection
Kira, Great Glass-Spinner
Lantern Spirit
Kini-Onna
Latch-Seeker
Mausoleum Wanderer
Mindshrieker
Mirror-Mad Phantasm
Nebelghast Herald
Niblis of Frost
Niblis of the Breath
Rattlechains
Shape Stealer
Sire of the Storm
Soramaro, First to Dream
Spectral Sailor
Stormbound Geist
Sturmgeist
Overbeing of Myth
Supreme Phantom
Tradewind Rider
Ugin’s Conjurant
Uninvited Geist
[/guardians]
[vault monsters]
Body of Jukai
Emrakul, the Promised End
Arixmethes, Slumbering Isle
Sharktocrab
Hydra Broodmaster
Polukranos, World Eater
Trollbred Guardian
Splitting Slime
Decimator Provinces
Ghoultree
[/vault monsters]
[spells]
Farseek
Divination
Curious Obsession
Primitive Etchings
Lifecrafter’s Bestiary
Ior Ruin Expedition
Secrets of the Golden City
See Beyond
[/spells]
[/deck]

On to the Children of the Vault. Gladly, Rakdos gives us many, many cards to use here. I put in a few transform-cards to play the part of the Anointed. I made tinks goblins. Again, add your own manabase. 40 lands should be enough.

[deck]
[commander]
Lyzolda, the Blood Witch
[/commander]
[lieutenant]
Tymaret, the Murder King
[/lieutenant]
[psychos]
Acolyte of the Inferno
Bloodlust Inciter
Borderland Marauder
Gore-House Chainwalker
Hardened Berserker
Frenzied Goblin
Krenko, Tin Street Kingpin
Legion Warboss
[/psychos]
[fanatics]
Academy Raider
Aether Chaser
Balduvian Horde
Blade Juggler
Blood-Chin Rager
Cruel Sadist
Embereth Shieldbreaker
Lightning Mauler
Mardu Skullhunter
Rix Maadi Reveler
Rowdy Crew
Speedway Fanatic
Spikewheel Acrobat
Splatter Thug
Syndicate Enforcer
Thrill-Kill Assassin
Wanted Scoundrels
Arms Dealer
Dark-Dweller Oracle
Ember Hauler
Fanatical Firebrand
Goblin Cratermaker
Goblin Kaboomist
[/fanatics]
[badasses]
Archetype of Aggression
Fumiko the Lowblood
Mardu Strike Leader
Massacre Girl
Mogis’s Marauder
Sling-Gang Lieutenant
[/badasses]
[hags]
Accursed Witch
Aether Poisoner
Bushmeat Poacher
Caligo Skin-Witch
Grim Haruspex
Isareth the Awakener
Kindly Stranger
Mad Prophet
Minister of Pain
{/hags]
[anointed]
Hired Muscle
Kruin Outlaw
Neckbreaker
Instigator Gang
Mondronen Shaman
Goblin Razerunners
[/anointed]
[vehicles]
Daredevil Dragster
Irontread Crusher
Mizzium Tank
[/vehicles]
[spells]
Goblin Grenade
[/spells]
[/deck]

Maliwan… fire, ice and shock. That should be easy enough. A lot of haste, lot of instants and some heavies. Energy is a key thing here. There’s room for 41 lands here. That might be a bit too many, as there are quite a few cheap cantrips.

[deck]
[commander]
Tawnos, Urza’s Apprentice
[/commander]
[assault troops]
Aether Chaser
Aether Swooper
Aether Theorist
Aethertorch Renegade
Lightning Runner
Maulfist Doorbuster
Scrapper Champion
Spontaneus Artist
Jeskai Infiltrator
Higure, the Still Wind
Queen of Ice
Burning Prophet
[/assault troops]
[frontrunners]
Ember-Eye Wolf
Wolf of Devil’s Breach
Hell’s Thunder
Ember Swallower
Lightning Elemental
[/frontrunners]
[heavies]
Aetherling
Disciple of the Ring
Irencrag Pyromancer
Cavalier of Flame
Frost Titan
[/heavies]
[nogs]
Young Pyromancer
Seasoned Pyromancer
Akoum Stonewaker
Tilonalli’s Summoner
Rakka Mar
Izzet Chemister
Cyclops Electromancer
[/nogs]
[spells]
Harnessed Lightning
Dynawolt Tower
Lightning Bolt
Scorching Dragonfire
Flame Spill
Fight with Fire
Rush of Ice
Crippling Chill
Icy Manipulator
Expedite
Brainstorm
Arrester’s Admonition
Electrolyze
Fire // Ice
Fists of Flame
Quicken
Slip Through Space
Uncomfortable Chill
Beacon Bolt
Hypothesizzle
Ionize
Turn // Burn
Icy Blast
Direct Current
Stoke the Flames
[/spells]
[war machines]
Ballista Charger
Mobile Garrison
Sky Skiff
Demolition Stomper
[/war machines]
[/deck]

Finally, Crimson Raiders. They’ve never had that many members, so there won’t be many here either. The ones we have are largely interested in artifacts in some way. There’s no way I’m going to be able to fit everyone into WR, so I’ve had to lose Tannis and Mordecai for example. Actually, I’d be happy if I could find representatives for even 10 of the 20 playable characters across the series. (Not counting Rhys or Fiona here.) I’ve had to do quite a bit of stretching to get even this far. Tannis gets to be presented by books. Jalum Tome because her erratic nature sometimes makes her unhelpful. Like the previous decks, just add 40 lands of your own choosing.

Otherwise, there’s plenty of hardware in different forms and some sagas, because much of the game is actually told after the fact by Marcus.

This deck is so much more powerful than the others, that this is probably a sort of archenemy deck.

[deck]
[commander]
Feather the Redeemed
[/commander]
[pcs]
Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran
Pia Nalaar
Bruse Tarl, Boorish Herder
Danitha Capashen, Paragon
Haktos, the Unscarred
Bomat Courier
Rakka Mar
Zada, Hedron Grinder
Thalia, Heretic Cathar
Champion of Flame
[/pcs]
[npcs]
Depala, Pilot Exemplar
Arms Dealer
Enthralling Victor
Syr Carah, the Bold
[/npcs]
[equipment]
Daredevil Dragster
Fleetwheel Cruiser
Ovalchase Dragster
Weatherlight
Blade of Selves
Assault Suit
Fireshrieker
Hero’s Blade
Shadowspear
Sanctuary Blade
Sword of Fire and Ice
Jalum Tome
Jayemdae TOme
[/equipment]
[tales]
History of Benalia
Birth of Meletis
The Flame of Keld
The Triumph of Anax
Triumph of Gerard
Quest for Pure Flame
Quest for the Holy Relic
Tome of Legends
[/tales]
[powers]
Path of Mettle
Twinflame
Inaction Injunction
Lyev Decree
Flame Spill
Fire Prophecy
Brave the Elements
Gods Willing
Call the Cavalry
Lightning Bolt
Infuriate
Fists of Flame
Renegade Tactics
Brute Strength
Run Amok
Defiant Strike
Shelter
Sheltering Light
Cloudshift
Boros Charm
Fall of the Hammer
Reckless Rage
Valorous Stance
Double Cleave
[/powers]
[/deck]